Point 18/100 Can Your Team Handle Objections Without Dismissing Them?
Can Your Team Handle Objections Without Dismissing Them?
Point 18/100 — The 100-Point Foster Carer Recruitment Review
Someone enquires about fostering.
The conversation is going well.
Then they say:
"I'm worried about allegations."
Or:
"I work full time."
Or:
"I'm not sure how this would affect my own children."
Or:
"I don't think we could afford it."
Or:
"My partner isn't as convinced as I am."
What happens next?
This is where Foster Carer Recruitment becomes a skilled profession rather than a process.
Because the recruiter now has a choice.
They can:
dismiss the concern,
correct the person,
reassure too quickly,
give them a standard answer,
or start trying to convince them.
Or they can do something considerably more useful.
Understand what the person actually means.
POINT 16 IDENTIFIED THE BARRIER. POINT 18 IS ABOUT THE RESPONSE.
In Point 16 I argued that we should stop automatically describing people's concerns as "myths".
If somebody genuinely believes something, worries about something or has heard something, telling them:
"That's a myth."
starts the conversation from:
"You're wrong."
Point 17 then introduced consultative recruitment.
Ask.
Listen.
Understand.
Explain.
Build trust.
Agree an appropriate next step.
Point 18 now brings those two ideas together.
Because professional recruiters need to know how to deal with what other sectors often call:
objections.
I use that word cautiously.
These aren't necessarily objections to be overcome.
They may be:
questions,
concerns,
misunderstandings,
fears,
practical barriers,
or attempts to test whether your organisation can be trusted with a difficult conversation.
THE FIRST RULE: DON'T ANSWER AN OBJECTION YOU HAVEN'T UNDERSTOOD
Someone says:
"I work full time."
You could immediately reply:
"That's fine. You can work and foster."
But what have you actually answered?
Very little.
Perhaps they mean:
"My employer won't give me flexibility."
"My partner also works."
"I commute two hours every day."
"I'm frightened I'll have to abandon my career."
"My household depends upon my salary."
"I've heard Foster Carers aren't supposed to work."
Completely different concerns.
So instead:
"Tell me what you're concerned fostering might mean for your work."
Now we're having a recruitment conversation.
FIVE STEPS I WOULD TEACH EVERY FOSTER CARER RECRUITER
I would make objection handling remarkably simple.
Not scripts.
Not manipulative techniques.
Five disciplines.
1. LISTEN
Let them finish.
Don't jump in halfway through because you've heard the same question 200 times.
They haven't asked it 200 times.
For them, it may be the question preventing one of the biggest decisions of their life.
2. CLARIFY
"Tell me a little more about that."
"What particularly worries you?"
"What have you heard?"
"When you say you couldn't afford it, what are you thinking might need to change?"
Find the question behind the statement.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE
Not:
"Don't worry."
Try:
"That's a perfectly reasonable thing to want to understand."
Acknowledging a concern is not agreeing that the person's assumption is correct.
It is demonstrating that you have heard it.
4. RESPOND ACCURATELY
Now answer the actual question.
Facts.
Examples.
Process.
Your provider's real offer.
And importantly:
never invent an answer.
If the issue needs exploration by a social worker, manager, finance specialist or another colleague, say so.
5. CHECK
After answering:
"Does that help with what you were worried about?"
Because we have a habit in professional conversations of assuming that because we've spoken, the other person has understood.
Those are five remarkably straightforward skills.
But are the people answering your fostering enquiries actually trained in them?
LISTENING SOUNDS EASY
It isn't.
Particularly when the person answering enquiries already knows the process extremely well.
They hear:
"I work full time..."
and their brain immediately supplies:
standard work-and-fostering answer.
They stop listening.
This happens in recruitment all the time.
The recruiter recognises the category instead of listening to the person.
Professional recruitment requires resisting that instinct.
LET'S TAKE SOME REALISTIC EXAMPLES
"I WORK FULL TIME."
Poor response:
"That's absolutely fine. Lots of Foster Carers work."
Perhaps true in principle.
But we don't yet know whether this individual's work pattern is compatible with what they are imagining fostering will involve.
Better:
"Of course. Tell me a little about what you do and what you're concerned fostering might mean for your work."
Now explore.
Hours.
Flexibility.
Commute.
Partner.
Household finances.
The type of fostering they're considering.
Their expectations.
Then give relevant information.
"I DON'T THINK WE COULD AFFORD IT."
Do not treat this as evidence that the person is "in it for the money".
A person who asks whether their household can remain financially viable is asking a responsible question.
The DfE's behavioural research identified finances and employment as genuine issues affecting people's decisions about fostering. Financial reward was not necessarily the reason people wanted to foster, but financial insecurity and concerns about changing working arrangements could inhibit progression.
So:
"What particularly concerns you financially?"
Then explain transparently:
the provider's actual financial arrangements;
what is an allowance;
what is a fee where applicable;
what depends upon placements;
what changes when there is no child in placement;
and anything else relevant to your actual offer.
Do not make fostering finances sound more secure or simple than they really are.
"I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY OWN CHILDREN."
This one should never be brushed aside.
You might be tempted to say:
"Birth children generally get a lot out of fostering."
Maybe.
But that is not an answer to:
"I'm worried about my children."
Ask:
"What are you particularly worried about?"
Their age?
Sharing parents?
Privacy?
Behaviour?
Safety?
Attachment?
A child eventually leaving?
Changes to family routines?
A prospective Foster Carer who is asking these questions may not be negative.
They may be thinking responsibly about their entire family.
"MY PARTNER ISN'T SURE."
Do not turn the partner into an objection to overcome.
Try:
"What are they unsure about?"
Then perhaps:
"Would it help if the three of us had an informal conversation with absolutely no expectation that you need to progress?"
That does something very important.
It gives the uncertain partner permission to ask questions.
Imagine the alternative.
One partner has already become enthusiastic.
The other feels they're being dragged into somebody else's project.
Push harder and you may increase resistance.
Create room for them to be heard and you may discover what the concern actually is.
And sometimes the answer may genuinely be:
this household isn't ready.
That's useful information too.
"I'M TOO OLD."
What does that mean?
How old are they?
What do they believe the rule is?
Are they concerned about health?
Energy?
Long-term commitment?
The age of child?
Their partner?
Perhaps the concern is nothing to do with eligibility.
Don't answer:
"There's no upper age limit!"
before understanding the question.
"I RENT."
Again:
What are they asking?
Can renters foster?
Does their tenancy permit it?
Are they worried about needing permission?
Do they have sufficient space?
Do they expect to move?
Different questions require different answers.
"I'M SINGLE."
Perhaps the actual question isn't:
"Are single Foster Carers allowed?"
Perhaps it's:
"Could I cope alone?"
That leads into:
support network,
employment,
family,
friends,
respite,
provider support,
the practical reality of fostering.
Very different conversation.
THEN WE COME TO ALLEGATIONS
I think allegations provide one of the clearest tests of recruitment professionalism.
Someone asks:
"What happens if a child makes an allegation against me?"
There are several poor responses.
"Don't worry about that."
"It's extremely rare."
"You'll be trained."
"We support our carers."
Even if elements of those statements are true in a particular organisation, none necessarily answers the concern.
And allegations are absolutely not something the sector can sensibly pretend prospective carers needn't consider.
In June 2026 the Government published its response to its fostering reform consultation and committed to strengthening clarity and consistency in the handling of allegations and standards-of-care concerns, with a focus on proportionate responses and better support for both Foster Carers and children.
In July 2026, the Government's consultation on updated fostering standards and guidance went further, stating that its intended approach includes more consistent support for children and carers throughout the allegations process.
That tells us something important.
The concern is legitimate.
So treat it as legitimate.
HOW WOULD I HANDLE THAT CONVERSATION?
I'd start:
"That's an important thing to understand. What have you heard about allegations and what particularly concerns you?"
Now listen.
Maybe they've seen a newspaper story.
Maybe they know a Foster Carer who went through an allegation.
Maybe they fear losing income.
Maybe they're worried about reputation.
Maybe their concern is support.
Maybe they're worried about their own children.
Now answer what you can accurately.
Explain the process at the appropriate level.
Explain the provider's support.
And if the question reaches beyond your competence:
bring in someone who knows.
There is enormous trust in saying:
"I don't want to give you a half-answer to something this important. Let me arrange for the right person to talk it through with you."
That is not weakness.
It is professionalism.
NEVER CONFUSE REASSURANCE WITH TRUST
Recruiters often want to reassure.
It's a natural instinct.
Somebody is worried.
We want to make them feel better.
But excessive reassurance can damage trust.
Imagine:
Prospect:
"I'm worried fostering could be very challenging for my children."
Recruiter:
"Honestly, don't worry. We support the whole family."
What happens six months later when the family does experience difficulty?
The prospect may remember:
"They told me not to worry."
Compare that with:
"Yes, fostering can have a significant impact on everybody in the household. That's exactly why we explore it carefully and why I'd rather understand what you're worried about now."
Which sounds more trustworthy?
THE OBJECTIVE IS NOT TO MAKE THE OBJECTION DISAPPEAR
This matters enormously.
Traditional sales language can talk about:
overcoming objections.
I don't think that's the right mindset for Foster Carer Recruitment.
The objective is not:
make the objection disappear.
It is:
help the person understand the issue well enough to make an informed decision.
Sometimes that information will reassure them.
Sometimes it will reveal that their assumption was incorrect.
Sometimes it will create another question.
And sometimes they'll decide:
"Actually, fostering isn't right for me."
That can be the correct outcome.
AN HONEST NO CAN BE BETTER THAN A FALSE YES
Imagine someone says:
"I want to foster, but under no circumstances could I attend meetings during my working hours."
The wrong response is to minimise the requirement in order to keep them progressing.
If the role they are considering genuinely requires flexibility they cannot provide, they need to understand that.
Maybe another fostering model or another time in their life would fit.
Maybe not.
Professional recruitment is not:
find a way to say yes.
It is:
find the truth.
THE RECRUITER NEEDS TO KNOW THEIR BOUNDARY
This becomes especially important in fostering.
A professional recruiter should know:
what they can answer;
what they cannot;
what is provider policy;
what requires social-work judgement;
what needs managerial input;
what needs specialist advice.
There should be no shame in saying:
"That needs somebody with different expertise from me."
The dangerous recruiter is not the one who says:
"I don't know."
It is the one who doesn't know — and answers anyway.
CREATE AN ESCALATION MAP
This is one of the practical things I would introduce into a recruitment team.
For your most common prospective-carer concerns, document:
WHAT THE RECRUITER CAN ANSWER
Clear, agreed factual information.
WHAT NEEDS EXPLORATION
Issues where more context is required.
WHAT NEEDS ESCALATION
Health.
Complex safeguarding history.
Particular convictions.
Complex family circumstances.
Allegations process detail.
Anything else requiring specialist judgement.
WHO TO ESCALATE TO
Named role.
Not:
"Someone in fostering."
The recruiter should know exactly who can help.
EXPECTED RESPONSE TIME
Because:
"I'll find out and get back to you"
isn't much use if it takes two weeks.
CURRENT GOVERNMENT POLICY SUPPORTS APPLICANT-FOCUSED CONTACT
The Government's Renewing Fostering plan says future recruitment standards will include applicant-focused initial contact, responsive home visits, effective preparation and peer mentoring.
The March 2026 end-to-end Fostering Hubs programme similarly moves beyond the recruitment "front door" and expects prospective carers to be guided from initial enquiry through assessment and approval with more consistent support.
That makes the quality of these early conversations strategically important.
Not peripheral.
Not customer service.
Recruitment.
WHY DOES THIS MATTER SO MUCH?
Because England is not short of recorded interest in fostering.
Ofsted's dedicated recruitment analysis found 125,195 recorded initial enquiries in 2022–23, but only 6% resulted in an application. Ofsted appropriately cautions that enquiries are not unique individuals and providers differ in what they record as an enquiry, so the statistic should not be interpreted as a simple conversion failure.
Even so, it demonstrates the scale of movement between:
someone expressing interest
and:
someone applying.
And further down the journey, Ofsted's latest annual statistics show 8,290 applications were received in 2024–25. Of the 5,370 completed during the year, 3,290 ended in withdrawal and 2,050 in approval. Twenty per cent of applications begun in-year and then withdrawn by applicants were recorded as involving the fostering process not being what the applicant expected.
Again:
not every withdrawal should be prevented.
Not every enquiry should progress.
But expectations and conversations matter.
YOUR RECRUITER MAY BE HAVING THESE CONVERSATIONS EVERY DAY
This returns us to the observation that is becoming increasingly obvious through Points 15–18.
What are we actually asking Foster Carer Recruiters to do?
They need to understand:
motivation;
barriers;
candidate psychology;
the fostering proposition;
eligibility;
process;
provider policy;
money;
employment;
family dynamics;
support;
assessment;
challenging questions;
and when to escalate.
They need:
questioning skills;
listening skills;
consultative recruitment skills;
objection handling;
expectation management;
follow-up ability;
judgement.
And they need to do all this while maintaining appropriate boundaries inside a safeguarding environment.
How much formal recruitment training have we actually given them?
That may be one of the biggest questions emerging from this entire section.
OBJECTION HANDLING SHOULD BE PRACTISED
Not taught in a PowerPoint.
Practised.
Role-play:
"I work full time."
"I rent."
"My partner isn't keen."
"I've got a previous conviction."
"My son is worried."
"What happens if a child makes an allegation?"
"How much will I actually earn?"
"Another fostering agency says they pay more."
Then listen to the recruiter.
Do they:
interrupt?
jump straight to reassurance?
become defensive?
guess?
criticise another provider?
avoid the question?
talk too much?
Or do they explore?
"ANOTHER PROVIDER PAYS MORE."
Here's another useful test.
Poor response:
"Our support is much better."
How do you know what that other provider offers?
Better:
"That's useful to know. How important is the financial difference in the decision you're making?"
Then perhaps:
"Would it help if I explained our full financial and support package so you can compare properly?"
Notice what we did not do.
We did not criticise the competitor.
We did not pretend money doesn't matter.
We did not immediately discount.
We helped the prospect compare.
Professional recruitment.
"THE OTHER PROVIDER CALLED ME BACK STRAIGHT AWAY."
Don't defend yourself.
That's feedback.
If it took your organisation four days:
it took four days.
The person has just told you something about their candidate experience.
Listen.
HANDLE THE QUESTION — NOT YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTION TO IT
Some concerns can make organisations defensive.
Money.
Allegations.
Poor Ofsted history.
Staff turnover.
Carers who left.
Negative online reviews.
Support.
When a prospective Foster Carer asks a difficult question, the organisation's instinct can be:
defend the organisation.
But the recruiter needs a different instinct:
understand the question.
There may be an uncomfortable answer.
Tell the truth.
Trust survives honesty far more easily than it survives discovery that the recruiter avoided something.
THE MOST POWERFUL ANSWER MAY COME FROM ANOTHER FOSTER CARER
And this takes us towards Point 19.
Suppose somebody asks:
"What is it really like when a child leaves?"
The recruiter can answer.
The social worker can answer.
The website can answer.
But perhaps the most valuable conversation is with somebody who has actually experienced it.
An existing Foster Carer.
The same could apply to:
fostering while working;
impact upon birth children;
allegations;
assessment;
first placement;
relationships with social workers;
managing uncertainty.
That does not mean putting an existing Foster Carer in front of every prospect immediately.
But it means recognising something important:
Sometimes the recruiter's best response is to introduce someone more credible than themselves.
That is a sign of skill, not weakness.
HERE IS THE POINT 18 TEST
Take ten of the difficult questions your team receives most often.
Do not give staff the answers first.
Ask them to role-play the conversation.
Then score five things.
DID THEY LISTEN?
Or interrupt?
DID THEY CLARIFY?
Did they discover what the person really meant?
DID THEY ACKNOWLEDGE?
Did the prospect feel heard?
WAS THE RESPONSE ACCURATE?
Including knowing when not to answer?
DID THEY CHECK?
Did they find out whether the concern was actually addressed?
If those five behaviours are strong, you probably have some good recruiters.
If they aren't:
train them.
Not blame them.
Train them.
THE CORE POINT
We shouldn't train Foster Carer Recruiters to:
beat objections.
We should train them to:
handle concerns professionally.
That's a fundamentally different philosophy.
An objection is not an opponent.
A concern is information.
It tells us:
what the person values;
what they fear;
what they don't understand;
what might stop them;
what they need from us;
and sometimes whether fostering is genuinely the right choice.
That's immensely valuable recruitment intelligence.
AND SOMETIMES, STOP TALKING
There is one final recruitment skill worth introducing here.
Knowing when your own explanation is no longer the best one.
Sometimes someone doesn't need another brochure.
Or another recruiter.
Or another website page.
They need to talk to a person who has actually done it.
Which takes us directly to:
POINT 19 — ARE YOU LETTING PROSPECTIVE CARERS SPEAK TO FOSTER CARERS EARLY ENOUGH?
Because perhaps one of the most powerful recruitment resources in your organisation isn't sitting in the recruitment department at all.
It is already fostering.
100 points.
10 stages.
One end-to-end examination of Foster Carer Recruitment.