Point 16/100 Do Your Staff Understand What Stops People From Fostering?
Do Your Staff Understand What Stops People From Fostering?
Point 16/100 — The 100-Point Foster Carer Recruitment Review
Point 15 asked a simple question:
Do the people handling your enquiries understand why somebody is considering fostering?
Point 16 looks at the other side of the same conversation.
Because somebody can desperately want to foster and simultaneously have a long list of reasons why they think they cannot.
Money.
Work.
Their partner.
Their children.
Their home.
Their age.
Their health.
Their pets.
Assessment.
Their previous relationships.
Something from their past.
Allegations.
Fear of getting it wrong.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of becoming attached to a child who eventually leaves.
Or simply:
"I don't think now is the right time."
Those concerns matter.
And one of the quickest ways to lose a prospective Foster Carer is to tell them that the thing they are worried about isn't really a problem before we have understood what they are actually worried about.
PLEASE STOP "BUSTING" PEOPLE'S MYTHS
I have written previously about my discomfort with the traditional myth-busting approach to Foster Carer Recruitment.
The problem is not necessarily the information being provided.
Often that information is perfectly correct.
The problem is the starting position.
Someone says:
"I thought you had to own your home."
And we reply:
"MYTH!"
Someone says:
"I'm probably too old."
"MYTH!"
Someone says:
"I work full time."
"MYTH!"
What has just happened psychologically?
The prospective Foster Carer has told us something they genuinely believe, fear or do not understand.
And our first response is effectively:
"You're wrong."
That is not how I would begin a professional recruitment conversation.
I would rather say:
"Tell me a little more about what concerns you about that."
Now we are listening.
A BARRIER IS NOT ALWAYS A BARRIER
This is perhaps the central concept in Point 16.
When somebody raises a concern, we need to work out what kind of concern it is.
I would separate them into at least six broad groups.
1. A GENUINE BARRIER
There may be circumstances that mean fostering is not currently appropriate.
That needs to be handled honestly.
Recruitment is not about progressing everybody.
2. A MISUNDERSTANDING
Someone may genuinely believe something about fostering that is incorrect.
Fine.
But first understand what they believe and why.
Then give accurate information.
3. A QUESTION REQUIRING PROFESSIONAL EXPLORATION
Some issues cannot sensibly be answered with a one-line recruitment response.
Health.
Previous relationships.
Criminal history.
Household circumstances.
Complex family issues.
These may need proper consideration rather than an instant yes or no.
4. A TEMPORARY BARRIER
The person may be entirely viable — just not today.
A house move.
Young children.
Employment changes.
Family circumstances.
Relationship change.
Financial uncertainty.
5. NOT YET
This person may be a future Foster Carer.
They need information, perhaps nurturing, and permission not to make the decision today.
6. A FEAR
The practical issue may not actually be the issue at all.
Someone who says:
"I'm worried about the assessment."
might really mean:
"I'm frightened you'll look at my past and decide I'm not good enough."
Those are very different conversations.
THE RESEARCH SHOWS WHY THIS MATTERS
The Department for Education's behavioural research into fostering and adoption found that prospective carers can have significant anxieties about whether they are capable of dealing with children's trauma, more complex behaviour or particular age groups.
Importantly, it also found that some people feel uncomfortable even voicing those concerns, because they fear that doing so will make them appear inflexible or unsuitable.
Think about that for a moment.
Somebody may be sitting opposite your recruiter thinking:
"I'm really worried about this."
But they are frightened to say it.
That means the quality of the recruitment conversation matters enormously.
The research concluded that prospective carers need a safe space in which to ask questions, raise concerns and work through issues.
That is considerably more sophisticated than myth busting.
MONEY IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE
Suppose somebody says:
"I couldn't afford to give up my job."
There are several possible conversations hiding inside that sentence.
They may mean:
"I assume Foster Carers can't work."
Or:
"My mortgage means I need a certain household income."
Or:
"I have built a career I don't want to abandon."
Or:
"I'm a single-income household."
Or:
"I simply don't understand how fostering finances work."
Or:
"I'd like to foster but I'm frightened I couldn't afford the financial risk."
The DfE behavioural study found that financial compensation was generally not the principal motivation for considering fostering, but that anxiety about finances could nevertheless be an important barrier. Some participants felt they were not financially secure enough to foster or were worried about reducing their working hours.
That distinction matters.
Money does not have to be someone's motivation for money to matter.
There is nothing inappropriate about a prospective Foster Carer wanting to understand whether their household can remain financially viable.
We should expect them to ask.
EMPLOYMENT IS NOT JUST ABOUT INCOME
The same study identified concerns about giving up work.
For some participants the issue was income.
For others, work was also:
identity,
purpose,
social connection,
career,
independence.
So imagine responding to:
"I don't want to give up my job."
with:
"Don't worry, Foster Carers receive an allowance."
You may have answered a question they never asked.
This is why the first skill is exploration.
"Tell me what you're concerned fostering might mean for your work."
Now we know which problem we are actually discussing.
WHAT ABOUT THEIR OWN CHILDREN?
One of the most understandable concerns is:
"What will fostering do to my children?"
Do not minimise this.
Existing children in the household are part of the fostering family.
Prospective carers may worry about:
attention,
privacy,
family dynamics,
challenging behaviour,
sharing parents,
attachment,
loss,
or how their children will react when a placement ends.
DfE behavioural research found concern about managing trauma and more challenging behaviour could become particularly significant for prospective carers who already had children.
That isn't negativity.
It is responsible thinking.
A prospective Foster Carer who asks difficult questions is not automatically a weaker prospect.
They may be doing exactly what we should want them to do:
thinking seriously about the consequences.
"I'M TOO OLD"
This is another classic myth-busting headline.
But again:
What does the person actually mean?
Are they 52 and assuming there is an upper age limit?
Are they 68 and wondering whether they have the energy for a particular age of child?
Are they worried about health?
Retirement income?
Long-term commitment?
Their partner's age?
Do they think the provider will reject them?
The answer should begin with the individual.
Not the myth-busting card.
"I RENT MY HOME"
Again, there may be a simple factual question.
But there may also be concerns around:
tenancy,
landlord permission,
security of tenure,
bedroom arrangements,
future moves.
Understand the circumstances.
Then answer.
"I'M SINGLE"
Someone may not really be asking:
"Are single people allowed to foster?"
They may be asking:
"Could I actually manage this without a partner?"
That brings us into support networks.
Family.
Friends.
Practical help.
Employment.
Respite.
Confidence.
The question behind the question matters.
"I HAVE PETS"
The same principle applies.
The person may have heard that animals prevent people from fostering.
Or perhaps they have a genuine question about a particular animal, household environment or children's needs.
Do not give an automatic reassurance if the situation genuinely requires exploration.
The recruiter's responsibility is not to make every concern disappear.
It is to identify what requires further consideration.
THE ASSESSMENT ITSELF CAN BECOME A BARRIER
This is particularly important.
The DfE behavioural research found that some prospective applicants regarded fostering assessment as invasive.
It also found concerns about scrutiny could make people reluctant to ask questions before they even applied, because they feared being judged prematurely or damaging their chances.
That is a serious recruitment issue.
Someone may think:
"If I tell them I'm worried, they'll think I'm unsuitable."
So they don't tell you.
Then perhaps six weeks later the issue emerges.
Or three months later.
Or during assessment.
A strong first-contact culture tells the prospect:
You are allowed to ask difficult questions.
That does not mean every answer will be yes.
It means the conversation can be honest.
PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS AND PERSONAL HISTORY
Prospective Foster Carers know that fostering assessment examines their lives in detail.
For some, that creates considerable anxiety.
The DfE research includes examples of applicants worrying about how previous relationships and historic experiences would be examined and whether they would be judged for things that happened years earlier.
Again, the recruitment team should not pre-empt the assessment.
But they can establish the culture.
A culture that says:
"Tell us. Let's understand it properly."
rather than:
"Don't mention anything that sounds difficult."
Good assessment needs honesty.
Recruitment should create the conditions for honesty.
ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT A MYTH
This is perhaps the clearest example of why I dislike careless myth-busting.
Someone says:
"I've heard allegations can destroy your life."
Do not respond:
"Don't worry about that."
Allegations are a real possibility within fostering and concerns about them deserve an adult conversation.
The DfE behavioural study records prospective Foster Carers explicitly worrying about allegations, damage to reputation and whether they would receive sufficient support if an allegation arose.
So the recruitment response should not be reassurance at all costs.
It should be:
honesty, process and support.
And perhaps:
"Tell me what you've heard and what particularly worries you."
Point 18 will examine the skill involved in responding to this type of concern in much greater depth.
FEAR OF ATTACHMENT AND LOSS
Another person might say:
"I couldn't give a child back."
Again, you could turn that into a myth-busting graphic.
Or you could recognise what the person is really telling you.
They understand that fostering involves attachment.
They are frightened about loss.
That is an emotional issue, not an eligibility fact.
It deserves a very different conversation.
SOMETIMES "THE BARRIER" IS ACTUALLY THEIR PARTNER
The individual may be enthusiastic.
Their partner may not be.
That is important.
Do not treat the partner as an obstacle that the enthusiastic person needs to overcome.
Fostering affects the household.
Point 15 suggested asking:
"Who have you spoken to about fostering?"
Point 16 adds:
"What do they think?"
If the answer is:
"My husband really isn't sure."
the appropriate next action might be involving him in a low-pressure conversation.
Not trying to persuade the original enquirer harder.
FAMILY REACTION MATTERS TOO
Parents.
Adult children.
Friends.
Grandparents.
Wider family.
They can become support.
They can also create anxiety.
Someone may worry:
"What will people think?"
or:
"Will my family accept the children?"
We do not need every member of the extended family to approve an application.
But the prospective Foster Carer's social world matters.
Understanding it gives better recruitment intelligence.
SOME BARRIERS ARE CREATED BY US
This may be the uncomfortable part.
Not every barrier exists in the prospective Foster Carer's life.
Some are created by the recruitment system itself.
Complex information.
Slow responses.
Conflicting answers.
Long forms.
Poor communication.
Unexpected assessment demands.
Difficulty finding clear information.
The latest Ofsted data gives us a sobering indicator.
During 2024–25, 8,290 mainstream fostering applications were received. Of the 5,370 applications completed by year-end, 3,290 — 61% — ended in withdrawal rather than approval.
That does not mean 61% were "lost" through poor recruitment. Many withdrawals are appropriate.
But among applications started and withdrawn by applicants within the year, Ofsted records 20% as involving the fostering process not being what the applicant expected.
That deserves attention.
Expectation matters.
Understanding concerns early matters.
THE GOVERNMENT IS NOW EXPLICITLY TALKING ABOUT REDUCING FRICTION
The Government's February 2026 Renewing Fostering programme recognises this directly.
It says new digital tools should make the prospective-carer journey clearer, reduce friction at key stages and create a more predictable and transparent experience from enquiry through to approval.
And the new end-to-end hub model requires a relational approach, with ongoing support and regular check-ins for prospective Foster Carers.
So this is not simply about better customer service.
The direction of national reform increasingly recognises that the applicant journey itself influences recruitment outcomes.
DO NOT TRY TO REMOVE EVERY BARRIER
This is another important distinction.
Good recruitment is not:
"How do we overcome every objection?"
Sometimes the concern is telling us something significant.
Perhaps fostering genuinely isn't appropriate.
Perhaps circumstances need to change.
Perhaps the partner isn't ready.
Perhaps the household cannot currently accommodate a child.
Perhaps the individual needs substantially more information.
The objective is not:
remove the barrier.
It is:
understand the barrier.
Then determine the appropriate response.
NO, NOT YET, OR I DON'T KNOW?
I would train first-contact teams to think carefully about three outcomes.
NO
There is a genuine reason fostering is not appropriate.
Be honest and respectful.
NOT YET
The potential is there, but circumstances need to change.
This person may belong in a nurture pipeline.
I DON'T KNOW YET
The issue requires further discussion or professional consideration.
Do not manufacture an instant answer simply because the telephone conversation feels as though it requires one.
These distinctions protect standards while also protecting potential.
YOUR "NOT YET" PIPELINE MAY BE ENORMOUSLY VALUABLE
Someone says:
"We want to foster, but we're moving house next year."
Another:
"My children are too young at the moment."
Another:
"I need another 18 months before I can reduce work."
Those are not necessarily dead enquiries.
The DfE behavioural research found people often delayed taking action because of uncertainty, lack of confidence or because it did not feel like the right time.
So ask:
When would it be useful for us to speak again?
Not:
"Give us a call whenever you're ready."
There is a considerable difference.
BUILD YOUR OWN BARRIER LIBRARY
In Point 15, I suggested developing a motivation library from conversations with existing Foster Carers and prospects.
Point 16 adds a second half.
Ask existing Foster Carers:
What almost stopped you?
Ask current applicants:
What are you worried about?
Ask people who withdrew:
What changed?
Ask "not yet" prospects:
What needs to happen before fostering becomes realistic?
Then categorise the themes.
You may discover patterns around:
employment,
finances,
assessment,
birth children,
bedrooms,
support,
allegations,
timing,
confidence,
partner concerns.
Now staff training is based on the actual questions prospective Foster Carers in your market are asking.
HERE IS THE TEST
Take your twenty most common enquiry concerns.
Then sit down with every member of the first-contact team.
Ask:
What would you say if somebody raised this?
Not to create robotic scripts.
To discover whether the organisation gives:
accurate,
consistent,
honest,
thoughtful
answers.
Then ask something even more important:
What question would you ask before answering?
If the answer is immediately:
"I'd tell them..."
we may have found the training need.
Because Point 16 is about learning to say:
"Tell me a little more."
before:
"Let me tell you."
THIS LEADS US INTO AN UNCOMFORTABLE WORD
Once staff understand motivation and understand barriers, we reach something fostering services can sometimes feel uneasy talking about.
Sales.
Not pressure.
Not persuasion at all costs.
Not lowering standards.
But professional consultative selling:
asking,
listening,
understanding,
explaining,
building trust,
responding to concerns,
and agreeing an appropriate next step.
That takes us to:
POINT 17 — ARE YOU COMFORTABLE ADMITTING FOSTER CARER RECRUITMENT IS A SALES PROCESS?
100 points.
10 stages.
One end-to-end examination of Foster Carer Recruitment.